Breathe, because you can Because you feel
by Fuinjutsu
Summary: A small one shot, on Sasuke's thoughts while lying on the cold ground. Manga Spoiler from latest chapters!


_Is this closure? Is this supposed to be it?_

I find myself numbed, I can notice things don't feel as clear as they used to just moments ago. I see the rays of sunlight being taken over by dark, reminds me of that day, the day I blindly pushed my sanity away, seeking revenge, seeking an end, only to find myself disgusted and more angry. _Was it because I was told this would happen?_ Or, maybe it is like that. I don't know, and I can't think about it right now, althought I want to, I've been avoiding asking myself that question for months, but right now all I can think about is this feeling of closure, freedom, ending...release, I have right now.

My body is light, it doesn't hurt, not physically, not emotionally, I feel nothing, and it's...relaxing. I understand now that look of _peace_ bodies have when they loose their light, it's nice now that I think about it, I used to think dead bodies were nothing but pieces of meat whose souls had been ripped, and had become nothing but sadness, dispair and nothingness. It's not. I almost want to laugh. But I feel nothing, and I don't regret it.

_I don't regret it_. Even after years of my life being driven by one objetive I don't regret it. Even after thinking he might have been right about revenge, I don't regret it. Now, that I'm lying in the cold ground, bathed in my own sweatand blood, I know this was worth it. I found what was my revenge about, _releasing my hate_, making the world _feel_ my hate, my anger, my dispair, it's totally worth it.

Fuck off. Feels nice to say it...well, think it. I feel warm and I don't know if it's this sudden realization or if it's my blood damping my clothes. I try to focus my eyes but all I see is greys, little blues, red and suddenly I feel it. The rain is coming down on me, and it's relaxing, the heat it's not as strong anymore, it's perfect. The rain, the mix of colors, my slow breathing, the feeling of the ground against my back, how my clothes stick to my skin and the cold makes me shiver.

I turn my head a little to the right, he's there, crouching, he looks hurt, he better be, that last Chidori took every amount of chakra I had. Our fight was nice, he overally has always been nice, I now realize it. I poured all my hate in him, and he took it whitout questioning it. He did it because _he cares_. It feels weird. He cares. I subconsiously knew it, but I know he cares, he really does care, his constant pursuit of me is nothing but care, not pity or doing it for someone, he does care. You are really my friend. Probably the only one I had, or would admit I had. They were also there, but it's different, you ...it was always meant to end with you.

Your breathing is deep, and fast, you might be crying, I don't know.

I turn my head back to the sky and close my eyes. Try to think only in my breathing and the sky's cry.

I wonder what'll be of the world. Will they actually archieve peace? I doubt it, they need to get real. And by getting real, I mean removing this fake mask they are using, that disgusting fake mask they show as if it were real,as if peace actually meant something to them. They are just going to cause more dispair in the end. It'll be like between Konoha and my clan, they will make nice faces to eachother, but when they will curse each other in their backs. There is no such thing as peace, the only peace that can be archieved is by someone _forcing_ his will to others.

I learned that from Madara, Tobi, or whatever is his name is. The Moons Eye Plan. I don't like it, but it's the _closest_ thing to peace. Forced into an eternal Tsukyomi, living a lie. It sounds disgustingly close to my life and I don't like it, but as long as they think it's real, It won't matter, they'll live around a lie, they'll feed from it, hate it, love it, and finally die for it.

I don't like it.

I think someone's approaching, someone's above me. I open my eyes to see nothing but the sky, I wa sure someone was there, or was it my mind? Perhaps it was. Maybe it was my mind, taking a last good look at me before leaving and becoming nothing.

"Revenge"..."It was worth it" I wispher while I put on a half smile and close my eyes again.

"I though I could change you" He said. I could feel his heavy breath a couple steps away from me. "I had too much hope for you, I really wanted you to be what you were again".

"A powerless twelve year old with a deathwish".

"No, I wanted you to be my friend, the Sasuke I knew".

"This is Sasuke, this is me, I'm only older. Whatever idea you had of my persona is wrong"

I sigh. Talking to him makes me tired, we were destined to fight each other, not talk. As I said, he cares, he is a friend, but I won't admit that. Since when do I share my thoughts.

"Was it really worth it?"

I do not answer, I can't, I won't...I'm cold, very cold and happy. I feel.


End file.
